Open Question: Let’s Discuss!

I want to know what you all think, A-migos.

Someone says they don’t (know if they) experience sexual attraction. They have a sex drive as well as a general interest in sex, and really enjoy it a lot. However, they just like (and get aroused by) the act, rather than the people involved. Even the people they consider attractive, they don’t look at and “think sex,” so to speak. So, they are quite comfortable having sex with people they don’t consider attractive.

Would you consider this person to be asexual?

6 thoughts on “Open Question: Let’s Discuss!

  1. “” On that thread, I gave a rundown of extant research related to asexuality. Check out the second to last post. I don’t think it will answer you question, but you may find it interesting. My own view is that such people are hard to categorize.


  2. Trying to write an answer, I find myself switching sides every few seconds. Not feeling sexual attraction suggests yes, but being quite a sexual being in most other ways suggests no. I don’t really see why such a person would be identifying as asexual, but hey. That’s because I’m not them. I think I personally wouldn’t consider them asexual.


  3. I don’t know. But I would guess that a lot of people who consider themselves “sexuals” might fit that description. There’s plenty of people willing to have sex with people they don’t find particularly attractive, because they enjoy the sex. At least that is the impression I get. And I’d guess some of them wouldn’t find anyone sexually attractive. But I’m just guessing.


  4. I don’t know about ‘enjoy sex a lot’ but I’m not averse to it at all – in fact I’m quite curious.

    I definitely ID as asexual, although queer more these days; when I joined AVEN I was 15 and I didn’t consider ever having sex; it also wasn’t a big deal. At the time, AVEN didn’t consider that to be part of being ase – either you fancied people or you didn’t, and there were trends within that. Now the label has twisted, changed and evolved, and I’m nearly 20 and it sort of seems inevitable I’ll have sex, and that’s not a problem for me. I suppose I can be considered quite priveledged with that, but it also means my identity has grown away from me.

    I worry that I can’t represent ase people sometimes. I feel the same in so many ways, but in practicalities, I could pass as a ridiculously picky person even to my partner(s).

    HOWEVER – if I hadn’t come across the label ‘asexual’? I don’t know where I’d be right now. It dragged me out of hole, helped me understand myself, and I’m still functionally ase. I feel uncomfortable when someone asks me who I fancy, or presumes I’m straight – I’m *not*. I shakily presumed I was bi when I was 14 – and it felt wrong. Closer than gay or straight, but still, just not the right label for me. Now? I worry ase doesn’t fit me either. It’s certainly closer, and cut down to straight/gay/bi/ase – def ase. But ‘queer’ is a lot easier these days.


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