7 thoughts on “#MeToo is not all there is, and here’s why I’m not sharing my story

  1. 4 years ago. Same. Even to the bad logic and the idea that not everything was all bad all the time unwanted- just too much too fast too soon.
    Sorry, I know this isn’t really the point of this post, and I totally hear your point about #MeToo. I guess… I read what you’ve written, and I look at the piece I’m about to put in a survivor’s art show, and all I can say is me too.


    • Oh no, don’t worry. It’s perfectly natural to say that and people have been saying it since long before it became a Facebook meme! Which I think is part of why it’s caught on like this. I’m sure it will still be a common phrase even after people stop using it as a hashtag… though hopefully one day a lot fewer people will have cause to say it.

      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through this sort of thing too. Best wishes for the art show—art is such a great way to process trauma and move other people to reflect on things like this. :)


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  4. Thank you for this post. I do get, eh……dejected (??? dunno what’s the best word) a bit in this environment of #metoo, for some of the reasons here. Like, that all the issues around sexual violence == metoo movement. And then there’s the way that….even if it’s not explicitly said, this so-called movement narrows into many of the most common talking points around sexual violence, and therefore feels exclusionary of many people. Like how perpetrator=male and victim=female. Well, I guess many people DO explicitly say that. With something as nebulous as a hashtag campaign, where you can’t really say there’s a leadership structure…..how people talk about it feeds back into it and becomes the intent, perhaps? Perhaps #metoo could have been more, but….it isn’t.
    I wonder what kind of movement could address all the gaps. But maybe it can’t be all done in one movement. Or at least not in the more chaotic fashion of hashtags, where I’m afraid again it’ll get taken over with the most common narratives. I know there are already organizations that help victims and educate. I guess these aren’t as sensational (and therefore considered newsworthy) as whenever someone puts out a narrative against some specific celebrity.
    The more I think about this, the more I’m sure that such a hashtag story format will most likely feed back into common narratives. Like the story around Aziz Ansari. I’ve thought about what it would be like to put my story out there and all I can think of is how I would be torn down, because I don’t fit the ideal narrative in several ways. There comes to be a sense of what the hashtag is about based around how people talk about it, and those who don’t fit that are torn down in the ways they always have been. And many of these are probably more marginalized people in society anyway. Stereotypes and misconceptions will come up…and who will counter them? Despite having a single founder, the hashtag hasn’t produced leaders as far as I’ve seen, or their voices haven’t been featured very prominently in the news. Voices that could lead us away from the ways many people will beat down victims.
    Anyway, I’m just kinda blathering on now. Thanks for this post. It’s been difficult for me to hear all this in the news, especially when I feel excluded. It’s nice to hear your voice on this. Someone else who #metoo just can’t cover.

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