Well, it’s now June 1st, which means that it’s time to wrap up this round of the Carnival of Aces and start another one!
The topic I chose for this month was Nuance & Complexity, a very broad topic which had a lot of good responses on a wide range of subjects. Thank you to everyone who submitted, you’ve all made this a very interesting month!
Without further ado, here are the submissions:
- Lijavi Toledo Loaiza wrote about sensual attraction, aesthetic attraction, and sex repulsion and how these things play into each other in a way that makes it difficult to find a place in the ace community in Sensual vs Sexual.
- I wrote about being both bi (but not biromantic) and ace in a two-part series.
- Part One: Scrutiny About Attraction and the Kinsey Scale (here on Prismatic Entanglements) discusses the assumptions, misconceptions, and scrutiny that makes this intersection so difficult to inhabit and discuss.
- Part Two: Aesthetic Attraction and the Visual-Aural Gender Split (here on Prismatic Entanglements) discusses how my attractions to men tend to be different from my attractions to women (and others) in that they are primarily sound-based, and how that has been confusing and frustrating because aural attraction gets so little recognition, in both the ace and bi communities.
- Lib wrote about how identifying as asexual, aromantic, and agender feels like having iconic holes in “Filling in the Blanks“. There’s also good stuff in there about what it means to be a good ally, and considering the “best friend” role as another hole that doesn’t need to be filled.
- Blue Ice-Tea wrote about demisexuality and unwanted celibacy in Asexual, Allosexual, and Other Labels that Don’t Quite Fit. Content warning: this post discusses incels and misogynist violence.
- Sara K. wrote about terms that describe various nuances of being ace in Why Are There So Many Terms – and Why I Am Finding Them Less Useful.
- Varian wrote about being being on the “outside edge” of the queer community, the pagan/polytheist community, and the godspouse community in My Spiritual Path.
- Perfect Number wrote about getting out of Christian purity culture and having conflicted thoughts/feelings about sex in Confusing and Weird.
- Siggy wrote about how aces perceive and distinguish emotions in Attraction and emotional granularity (here on A Trivial Knot).
- Patience wrote a guest post about being multilingual and lacking natural, native-language words to talk about asexuality in From a non-English ace.
- Demi and Proud wrote about dating, romantic orientation, nuances of language, and more in Ride that Rollercoaster!
- Bianca (bijelo9) wrote about self-discovery and beginning to identify as asexual, aromantic and agender/flux in I’m me (And that’s complicated).
- Vesper wrote about the difficulties of navigating both the anglophone and the Japanese ace communities, especially with regard to terminology and a lack of consideration for grayness and the full spectrum of ace and aro identities in landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English.
- luvtheheaven wrote about virginity, sex aversion, and identity in An Asexual Virginity (or Lack Thereof?)
…and that’s all, folks!
Remember, if you have a late submission, you can still be included! Just drop a link to your submission in the comments below, and I’ll edit this post to add it in. I’ll be accepting late submissions until the end of June.
The next round of the Carnival of Aces will be hosted at Dating While Ace, and the topic is about what it’s like being demisexual or gray-asexual.
If you’d like to volunteer to host a round, please check out the Carnival of Aces masterpost. As of the last time I checked, future spots for July and later are still open.
Thanks for posting these!
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Please don’t get mad. I wanted to comment on a different article of yours but it says the comments are closed for it. This is a response to your 2012 article How To Have Sex With An Asexual Person. I wanted to say thank you. I am asexual and have been with my sexual husband for 3 years. I only recently realized my identity as an asexual. Before I thought I was some sort of aversion to sex freak. Then once I found the word I avoided the subject with my husband cause I thought he wouldn’t be willing to understand. Then when we did talk about it I tried researching how to increase my desire for sex and came across your article. We looked over it together and noticed a lot of points on how to approach the subject and how he can reassure me that’s not the only value in our marriage and he immediately changed to try out your tips. I found with that change I felt my trust level instantly go up and my walls come down a bit. Most of the time I was turned off because of the pressure like it wasn’t my choice. Just the change of approach took the pressure off. I feel more confident and he seems to feel less like I don’t want him or trust him and more like we can communicate and be close. So thank you. I bookmarked the article so we can refer back to it if we need to. I read other articles but none of them really helped like that one did.
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