Hello internet person! You can call me Elizabeth Leuw. My pronouns are she/her.
This is my personal blog, where I like to go on long rants sometimes. Usually they have something to do with asexuality (because that’s why I started blogging here in the first place), but I will also throw in video games and other stuff when I feel like it.
I’m an asexual activist and disabled survivor of both sexual and domestic violence. I run the website for Resources for Ace Survivors, and you can find my writing there and in various other places, including The Asexual Agenda.
I’m a bi-something greyromantic queer lady, vaguely partnered to another lady (who is aromantic) in a polyamorous fashion. I’m also an atheist, a writer (of primarily non-fiction), and a snide social justice healer. I’m cisgender, white, and from a relatively privileged economic background (although I’m pretty poor now). I try to use my privilege to lift up more marginalized voices whenever I can.
I used to say I’m sex-positive, too, but I’m becoming more and more convinced that nobody understands what I mean when I say that, so it’s not a very useful label. Strictly from a political standpoint: pro-choice, supportive of sex workers’ choices and rights, accepting of kinksters, etc. But very critical of sex-positive rhetoric, especially when it involves tokenizing some asexuals in order to steamroll other asexuals into silence.
My activism reserves room for intelligent criticism of each movement I engage in. I prize skepticism and do not accept claims without good evidence. I like having arguments, as long as they’re interesting, well-supported, and good-natured—and such arguments are typically required in order to change my mind. However, there are lots of arguments that I won’t entertain here. You are free to take such arguments elsewhere.
Originally, I’m from the Southwest U.S. but I tend not to stay in the same place for long. I’ve found that my body is a bit better suited to colder environments, and I prefer to avoid the sun. I have a great fondness for rainy weather and the dark of night.
About the Blog
This blog started in 2008 as a place where I could vent frustrations and work through feelings, immediately after I cut contact with my abuser. At the time, I identified as gray-asexual, so this blog used to be called Shades of Gray. But I no longer feel grayness applies to my asexuality—I just identify as asexual now, full stop. (Despite this, I was quoted without my consent in an article on The Frisky after I had stopped identifying as gray.) Since 1) I no longer identified with the title, 2) other blogs popped up with the same name, and 3) that horrible book happened, I decided to change the blog’s name.
I chose “Prismatic Entanglements” after extensive consideration because it represents a tangled spider web of condensed metaphorical thought-dew, glistening in the sun. Spiders are important to me symbolically, both as predators and as creative weavers—I am both caught up in webs and weaving my own. I think the prism part needs no explanation.
Because I’ve been blogging for a very long time, my thoughts and opinions have changed. So please keep in mind that old blog posts do not necessarily reflect my current views—and in fact, I may barely even remember writing the post.
- Updating the Map: Romantic Attraction & Friendship vs. Romance — a fairly comprehensive post about my weird primary relationship and feelings about romance in general
- Trying to Make Religion Work — if you are interested in my religious background and how/why I became an atheist, then this one is for you
- The Healer Role — video games as lens for life and activism, including thoughts on sexism and entitlement
- Asexuality & Mental Health Carnival of Aces Roundup — I hosted a blog carnival on the topic of asexuality and mental health in June 2015
- The False Dichotomy of Repulsion vs. Indifference — about how I can’t accurately describe myself as one or the other, since my feelings about sex fluctuate wildly, and the whole framing bothers me
- Shutting Up: On writing, audience, and representation — a very long post about having to take a safety break from writing publicly, and dealing with being a survivor in a fairly unsupportive environment
- Asexuality in the Media: Towards Diverse Representation — in response to a specific incident, I ask journalists to be more respectful of ace people, and represent us with much more ethical care and integrity