Whenever I see the abbreviation “VD” I think Venereal Disease.

I know several of you are anxiously awaiting the results of the survey, but I want to hold off on that because there are still people actively taking it (plus, writing about the results takes a fair bit of time). As of right now, I have 263 responses, 243 of which are complete. I’m kind of hoping to get as close as possible to 300 finished responses.

If you haven’t taken the survey yet, please go here and do so–if you missed this whole survey business and have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read my previous post or this thread on AVEN.

In the meantime, I thought I’d try out the poll feature on here. And since Valentine’s day is tomorrow, let’s go with that.

Personally, I’m not too into the idea of Valentine’s Day in its traditional Hallmark form. In high school, it used to bother me how it was used mainly as a competition: who could get/give the biggest, flashiest, most expensive gift? Of course this was somewhere in Texas, where Valentine’s Day is rivaled only by the horrors of Homecoming (for those of you who don’t get the reference, I google image searched a demonstration–and the scariest thing is, I’ve seen bigger).

Aside from my qualms with the superficial aspect of Valentine’s Day, I have qualms about the kind of expectations it sets up. I don’t want a day specifically set aside for romance, because I wouldn’t want to be disappointed when my lover didn’t come through. I also don’t want my lover to be disappointed when, following their grand romantic gesture, sex doesn’t ensue.

Personally, I advocate making every day like Valentine’s Day, or at least a few days a month. I prefer months of steady, low-key, everyday romance over flowers and candies and candle-lit dinners, and I’d rather be a prince myself than wait for one.

This Valentine’s Day will be the first one that I have actually been in a long-term relationship during, without it being coincidental with another holiday (my ex was born on the 14th–and if you ever read this and recognize me for who I am, happy birthday). It’s the same for my gf, and for a while now, we’ve both been like, “Eh, I don’t know what we should do for it. I don’t really care… but I kind of want to? Because I’ve never done it before.”

We decided to just attend the Vagina Monologues, being the good feminists that we are, and screw any attempt at gift-giving or dates. We’ve got that covered anyway.

So, how about you?

Friendship Day

My calendar informs me that today is Friendship Day, but I’ve never heard of such a thing. A quick wikipedia search tells me only this:

International Friendship Day is celebrated annually, on the first Sunday of August, in several countries. It was initially declared a holiday in honor of friends in the United States by the U.S. Congress in 1935.

What? 1935? That was 78 years ago! Why haven’t I heard of it until today? Where’s the publicity? Do we value our friends so little that even Hallmark won’t try to cash in on this? I’m astonished that we even have a holiday for it!

Why is it that Valentine’s Day is such a big deal, but Friendship Day is relegated to the realm of the forgotten? So many people are single on Valentine’s Day anyway, and so the celebration doesn’t even apply to them (unless they do the Singles Awareness thing, but that’s more counter-culture than mainstream), but I’d venture to guess that almost everyone has friends. Why don’t we celebrate them? Make them feel appreciated? Why don’t we use this day as an excuse to get together and have fun, like they do in Argentina?

It saddens me that we are so focused on romance to the exclusion of other kinds of relationships, that so many people maintain their friendships only until they get married. The biggest problem with society today, in my opinion, is that intimacy is relegated strictly to sexual relationships. Only one type of relationship is validated, and the rest are seen as unimportant.

Even if nothing else ever comes of it, I hope that asexuals, as people who blur the line between friendship and romance (or, in the case of the aromantics, who don’t seek romance at all), will help to challenge these values and create a more open society with regard to the forging of human connections.

Maybe one day this holiday will be remembered and given the attention it deserves.